Having spent a lot of time in these NYC streets – 28 of 33 years between three of the five boroughs (Yes, five: Staten Island! You count!) – I take great pleasure inserting myself into conversations about point-to-point travel.
Personally, I'm all about that Citi Bike life. As of last week. (I already hate pedestrians. If you're going to jaywalk, at least look before crossing. Seriously.)
But we're here to cross two rivers, and no one taking themselves seriously takes a ferry. This century.
So you splurged: tickets to see the the New York Red Bulls take on the Montreal Impact at gorgeous Red Bull Arena, and then to watch New York City FC host their first home playoff game against Toronto FC and reigning MVP Sebastian Giovinco.
With only two and a half hours between start times, this is a tight one even if everything goes according to plan. And the one thing to count on – these are the Audi MLS Cup Playoffs, y'all – is wacky ish carrying the day.
First off, if you can take a personal helicopter, just do that. Worked for Kobe. Josh Harris, not so much.
Barring that luxury living, you're stuck making the same call as the rest of us plebes: to station a getaway car outside the RBA parking lot, or dash to the PATH Harrison station ahead of the exit crush.
A thought on the timetable: If the Red Bulls kick by 4:10, we're looking at 90 minutes of regulation, plus roughly 15 for the half. Tack on a cushy 10 for two rounds of stoppage time, and that puts you at … 6:05. You're not getting to Yankee Stadium in 30 minutes, bruh – and that's without factoring in the potential for extra time and/or penalty kicks. But it's fun to pretend.
So you might be thinking driving has got to be faster, especially if you commit to paying up for a lot on the far end. For the sake of the excercise, let's live in fantasyland and imagine you land the closest parking space to Yankee Stadium for free. Perchance to dream, indeed.
Our friends at Google Maps project a 45-to-85-minute journey, but the key word they use is "typically," and Sunday is anything but typical – it's Marathon day! Break out the branded cowbells, and good luck with the road closures. They "open" by 6:30 pm.
Officially, the Red Bulls outline two public transportation options that direct you toward the city proper: the PATH, or NJ Transit via the RBA shuttle. There's also the Legends Bus, which sounds great – $20! Complimentary refreshments! – without being timely (departs 30 minutes after final whistle). Since your goal is either the D or 4 lines (no B on the weekend, kids!), anything NJ Transit is out, since New York Penn Station offers only West Side access. Any sense means you're making mine Metrocard, plugging that sucker into the Harrison turnstile ($2.75) and heading East.
The Port Authority projects the travel time at 23 minutes, with a Sunday schedule slotted as follows:
If either Montreal scores or the Red Bulls go up three and you're on team irrational, you can book it with an eye on the 5:42, which puts you at the World Trade Center (Fulton Street station) at 6:05, crucial because you can connect directly to the 4 train (also $2.75), with only 27 projected minutes ahead and a 6:08 pm iron horse "scheduled" to arrive.
For you non-New Yorkers, "scheduled" is in quotes, because HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. [INSERT LAUGH-CRY EMOJI]
Seriously, an MTA train has never adhered to that thing. However, they do run continuously, and took me throughout five boroughs for all-hours carousing and spoken word poetry during my 20s, sometimes (often?) simultaneously. Also, to high school every day for four years. So there's that.
Any case, that transfer theoretically gets you to the Stadium at 6:37 pm – just in time to catch the opening kick. Every successive PATH departure puts you 20 minutes in the hole, so if you're aiming to get in everything after the break (and a potential NYC ET and/or PK thriller), you need to be on the 6:42 and hope for a lot of stoppage. The 7:22 likely sneaks you across for an 8:30-ish finish in the Bronx.
Godspeed.
